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Friday, March 15, 2013

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, (But Words Can Never Hurt Me)

We’ve all been asked rude questions one way or the other, be it from our frenemies, nosy relatives or even strangers.  Sometimes we find ourselves at the receiving end of those rude questions.  I used to be affected by their rudeness, but through the years, I have come up with several comebacks for such.  Here are some examples of rude questions and how I deal with them.


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Rude questions (RQ) when we were still planning for our wedding:

RQ 1:  How much are you paying for your wedding?  How much is your gown?  How much is the venue/catering? etc. etc.
Diva Answer (DA):  A lot!  Would you like to contribute? (evil grin)

RQ 2:  How big is your diamond ring?
DA:  It doesn’t matter.  It’s teeny tiny.  Your’s is bigger (again, evil grin)

Here are other rude questions some people ask:

RQ 3:  You have been married for so long, when are you two going to have kids?/When do you plan to start a family?
DA:  This question is standard for newlyweds.  If the question is from a well-meaning friend or family, we give out honest answers.  If it is from someone we don’t really care about or someone we know who loves to gossip, I give this answer, “I had surgery and can't bear children,” and see them squirm at the awkwardness of their question.  If I’m in a better mood I say, “The minute we said our wedding vows, I consider ourselves family already.”

RQ4:  How much money do you make?
DA:  “Enough to pay the bills and have a little fun once in a while” or “I really love my job that I don’t really worry about my salary.”

RQ5:  How much did you pay for your house?
DA:  This question we find intrusive.  We feel that if someone really wants to know the ongoing value of the house, they can look at the internet and Google away or ask any real estate agent.  This is my standard line, “We fell in love the moment we saw the house.  We’re lucky to get a good deal.”

RQ6:  Have you gained weight?
DA:  I don’t know why weight issues seem to be the standard greeting for most Filipinos so, I smile sweetly and say, “I feel wonderful, thank you!”

RQ7:  Did you lose weight?  (this was after I had surgery and radiation therapy)
DA:  “I know right?” or “Thanks for noticing.” (evil grin)

RQ8:  Are you tired? You look tired.
DA:  “I’m not wearing make up.” (believe it or not this works, haha).  Another answer, “Jellybelly and I were up the whole night,” and then wink.

RQ9:  When is the baby due? (when clearly I’m not expecting, just gained a few pounds)
DA:  I say with a straight face, “I’m not pregnant,” again let them cower in embarrassment.  Or sometimes I give out a bogus date, “Baby is due in 2020.”

So if you can’t think of anything else to say, here are some smart ways to save face:
·       Just be frank.  I often say “Ouch, that hurts” or “Am I offending you somehow?” People would see that they have somehow hurt you and will be taken aback.  Use manners to overwhelm their rudeness.
·       Smile and say nothing (worst case, walk away).  For me, this is an honorable response to an insulting question.  Just be pleasant and poised.
·       Repeat their question.  RQ:  “Don’t you get bored staying at home all day?”  DA:  Are you asking me if I get bored staying at home all day long with the people I love most?”  They will immediately see how ridiculous their question is.

Additional Tips:
·       For me when one annoys me or somebody is rude to me, I try to limit contact with them as much as possible.  Out of sight, out of mind.
·       Don’t over think.  Just move on.  Negative people do not deserve your time and energy.

6 comments:

Love Love ♥ said...

haha, I enjoyed your answers to rude questions. Sometimes when I get such questions, I answer them with a biting sarcasm. :)) It's nice to see people wince from my answer. :))

Kittykatmiyaw said...

Kasi minsan naiwan nila ang manners nila sa bahay. To quote Thumper from Bambi: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin at all."

claire said...

sobrang naka relate ako dun sa baby questions. one time may nagsabi sakin "hindi kayo magiging masaya pag wala kayong anak" ang sagot ko "ano gusto mo gawin ko, magpakamatay ako!" ayun napahiya siguro siya, :(

Kittykatmiyaw said...

Sometimes napaka insensitive din nila kaya kahit ayaw mo nasasagot sila at napapahiya, as if naman ginusto mo ang situation.

Mrs. Kolca said...

Haha. I enjoyed this one. Oh yeah, stay away from people who can just ruin your day! :)

Kittykatmiyaw said...

So true! Think happy thoughts na lang para hindi masayang ang brain cells.

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